Direkt zum Inhalt

“Thanks” increases commitment in insecure relationships

Longterm binding intensified by expressions of gratitude





Bond shy people who are anxious about emotional closeness or even avoid this at all perceive the „Thank you“ oft he beloved partner positively: such an expression of gratitude not only strengthens satisfaction and commitment within the relationship, in the long run binding problems might be generally attenuated. These are the outcomes of a five-part study, conducted by the University of Toronto in the lead. Interesting: the frequency of expressing gratitude is within an insecure relationships more effectively than the degree. To perceive gratitude enhances the partner´s feeling to be cared and that someone is responsive to one´s needs without triggering their fear of being pressed to much. Hence, „Thank you“ is beating any kind of sacrifice, offer for support or physical affection, when you want to make emotional closeness per se tasty.

As a follow up the scientists are planning to examine which form of gratitude expression ends up with the best results regarding commitment in romantic relationships.

Saying „Thank you“: Partners´ expressions of gratitude protect relationship satisfaction and commitment from the harmful effects of attachment insecurity, Park/Impett/MacDonald/Lemay, In: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology“, advance online publication, 2019.



From the practice:

Saying thank you pays off. Not only in private, but of course also professionally. I do mean here not the sort of gratitude which is regulated by compliance rules and anti-corruption laws, but these little nice gestures of appreciation which cost nothing except a call or a textmessage – by email or what´s app or Imessenger.

Direct, personal and nonexchangeable expressions of gratitude do come better across than general set phrases. And don´t underestimate the impact of saying thank you in front of others: i.e. when you are emailing to a bigger group and there is an opportunity to thank one of the receivers explicitly within this conversation, do it!

To thank someone is a signal for resonance, though: to confirm that you have got message. How many of us skip this type of thank you because they don´t consider it necessary! You simply miss the chance to convey security and politeness.

Does saying thank you differ depending on payed or non-payed engagements? For me yes, but only when it comes to intensity and length – not in general.

Wenn Sie fortfahren, nehmen wir an, dass Sie mit der Verwendung von Cookies auf dieser Webseite einverstanden sind. Weitere Informationen

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.