Small talk: Are you boomerasking?

If you aren´t interested in the answer, don´t raise a question

 

 

 

 

Boomeraskers raise questions, don´t react on the responses, though, but reply to their own question quickly and detailed. Boomeraskers are people who utilize questions as a trick in any small talk for presenting oneself in the absence of any interest in them and their perspectives. (“Boomerask” means a question raised that retunrs boomerang-like back to oneself) . These type of networkers don´t do themselves any good: according to a brand new study by Harvard Business School they appear to be more unsympathetic than those who try to dominate and influence the talk openly from the very beginning. To not react on an answer at all, bespeaks of complacency and insincerity.

Brooks/Yeomans, “Boomerasking: Answering your Own Questions”, in: “Journal of Experimental Psychology: General”, 2025, vol. 154, Nr. 3, 864-893

 

From the practise:

I do confirm. Questions alone does not make a good impression per se – and that´s finally the only goal to achieve in any small talk and in any networking. To run a conversation in a way that next time the other one is cheering and not trying to leave the room or hang on. Due to my experiences this means: Please do listen carefully how someone is responding to your questions. That´s the only way to ensure follow ups like raising additional clarifying questions, asking for examples or question a wording which is noticeable for you. That´s also the only way to make your interlocutor believe that you are really interested in her/his stuff. And not before now please bring in your own response. Not always but in the majority of cases. If you don´t expose yourself, too, it even might appear like an investigative interview.

There is another absolute no-go when raising questions, though: If you don´t even let the other one respond at all, but answering right away yourself. “How are you? Well, aren´t you?” And yes: all this applies also to private talks.