High-quality listeners are bridging the gaps

Or: How you stay in the relationship even in case of differences and conflicts

 

 

 

 

Professionally or privately: If you have good intentions towards your interlocutor, if you are highly attentive and if you show understanding for his/her position = if you are a high-quality listener, then you may bridge the gaps in case of differences and conflicts. Even more: by high-quality listening you are securing your relationship to the person on the other side better than if you are just moderately listening to a case you agree with.

Why? Because the other one not only feels highly appreciated, but also encouraged to give up defensive stances and stay in touch with you – this is according to a recently published Israelian scientific paper.

By that those who don´t want (at least not at once) to abandon their respective opinion but don´t want to jeopardize personal relations either do receive an adequate tool.

Saluk/Itzchakov/Weinstein/Amar, “Listening Across the Divide: High-Quality Listening Promotes Speaker´s State Well-Being Through Basic Psychological Need Satisfaction During Disagreements”, in: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Interpersonal Relations and Group Processes, https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000525

From the practise:

Since Carl Rogers shaped more than 50 years ago the term “Active Listening”, we know that there is more than only good, tough arguments to accomplish satisfying outcomes in any conversation. The new paper goes beyond that, though: “High-Quality Listening” emphasizes to start any dialogue from the very beginning constructively and to strengthen intentionally self esteem, openness and competence of one´s interlocutor.

And I consider it beautiful that this strategy is not only better in deescalating but also more valuable for relationships than any lukewarm agreement which occurs without big interest and attention